I'm supposed to get my hair done today. and hubby and best bud are out running errands. she had a few things to do and no car, and he had things to do, (and a car) so I'm wondering when the hell they are getting home! I can wait for days for something, but when I expected it earlier than it comes, I become an unbearable whiner. I want things to happen on a schedule, I cant stand waiting past an allotted time, I hate for plans to change. (this explains my fury at the doctor who wouldnt give me a ballpark number on how long I would have to be in labor before I was ready to push baby girl out)
hubby left five hours ago, ran his errands, picked up girl bud, and took her to the social security office. she has to change her last name on her social security. I keep telling people, "Do it right when you get married!" DUH. I have been waiting to get my hair cut and colored for...uh....MONTHS. and I cant do it until they get home! I hate waiting. and who know that a messed up color job on your hair and four inches of fried ends could make EVERY day a bad day??? it seriously makes me doubt myself overall, not just my hair!
I just got done babysitting two kids overnight. two spoiled kids overnight. two unruly, unchecked, undisciplined spoiled kids overnight. LAST TIME. there was an eight month old who wasnt that bad, but he wanted to be held and babied and fed AT ALL TIMES, and I have a baby of my own who needs mommy once in awhile. the other child....well. she's two and a half. she is an angry, selfish, unkind kid. I didnt think kids had mean spirits....but she does. she pushes, hits, throws, steals......name it. we had to tie a string on the guest bedroom door handle, tie it to another doors hinge, and tie it TIGHT so that she would stay in the room for naptime and bedtime. there were a few times those few days that I really thought I (or she) wouldnt make it.
and thats the end of things I have to say I think. other than I'm depressed about my weight, but what else is new? and who wants to hear it...because its my fault/responsibility. which is even more depressing. hah.
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Oh, I am so sorry, my daughter. Sorry I was not a better example of a believer who is "in the world, not of the world". If I had been a better Dad, you would know that this life is only a shadow of reality. Our true joy is in Christ and the gifts we enjoy from Him every day; (our loved ones, the beauty of creation, our salvation, etc, etc.) You are beautiful always! You and your children are the joy in my heart. Diets, colorings and cuts could not add to your value or beauty. Here is wisdom, "You are precious in His sight." Here is hope, "Christmas is coming." See you soon!
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