mess makers

my babies are both about to conk out and have themselves some naps. my son is holding a teddy bear and dancing to the music I have on. the louder I play it the more tired he behaves.
I havent written because we are out of water (WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO DELIVER MORE!!!) and I havent been feeling good....the heat is unbearable. also my neck is giving me trouble.
I'm struggling through alot of anger right now at some extended family members...(lets just say they arent MY extended family) and its up and down. I'll do good and then I'll dip down and because unbearably furious again to the point where my stomach hurts and my daughter cries when I try to nurse her. I just clench up and get so livid sometimes. I'm really working on getting out. my babies definitely help. they exhaust me probably actually add the extra stress that sends me over the edge....but their little smiles and hugs and kisses definitely are rewarding.
the house is still really messy. its not bad bad, its just that the kitchen floor is ATROCIOUS ( I have a one year old in a high chair, dont judge me) and the living room floor could certainly stand a vacuum....the babies room is littered with toys and my room has some pillows on the floor and some clothes and the bed needs to be made. when hubby is gone I wake up with blankets the way I left them....with him home we wake up in a tangled mess. :) he's a crazy sleeper.
last night hubby and I played one of our favorite computer games, age of empires, on our laptops. I got in bed because thats more comfortable, and he sat at the desk. it was actually really fun and I know he was happy to have me do something with him that he enjoys. and its definitely more fun than the arguing we have done a bit in the past week or so. I really think we are relearning how to live together...which is EXACTLY what I told a few certain people who think they need to invade our home asap....but they dont care about my family and my marriage. just a bit of my frustrations that make me angry and i'm not going to write anymore about it because I can feel my frustration coming back and I am doing so well today.
I'm off to put my little man to bed, and nurse the baby and put her to bed as well

windchimes

today is a lazy day. the wind is blowing through my windchimes and it sounds really pretty. baby girl is rolling around on the floor and being pretty cute. the boy is asleep upstairs, one of hubbies buddies is on the couch and the other is in the kitchen with him messing around on computers. we have three laptops in the house right now. its pretty cool actually because hubby and I both like to be on the computer and now we can be on our laptops at the same time.
anyways nothing going on today obviously. actually around here there rarely ever is anything going on. I need to take a break here and use the head. I drank two glasses of water and a redbull!

too hot to function

yesterday was the first day of summer and MAN has it hit. its so hot everyone feels like CRAP.
hubby hit a personal record last night with tequila. THIRTY FOUR shots. he hit a point in the night and that was the end of his conciousness. crazy.

nothing much to write today except that its really really hot. and tonight is gonna be crazy too. yessss.......

laundry day

so yesterday I cleaned the whole house. bathrooms, floors, organizing and everything. by the time I was done I was too tired to do the one thing i had left: laundry.
I have just switched six loads over into four dryers. its gonna be alot of folding here in a half hour or so!!
tonight is going to be another party, PLEASE GOD without the hooking up and craziness. i'm sure it will be fine though because the girls arent going to be there this time. or any other time I have guys in my home. I've made that command decision for sure.
I have a roast in the crock pot and it smells amazing. its over five pounds! I had to trim the sides into a few pieces to get it in the pot. that was difficult considering it was frozen on the inside.
I definitely pushed myself too far yesterday...but I am very glad to have a clean house. by the time hubby got home my feet and ankles were hurting really bad...and I was feeling pretty cranky and I'm ashamed to say pretty sorry for myself. we wound up in a huge argument because I wasnt in any shape to handle ANY emotional disturbances, real or perceived. It ended ok though...which is what I love about my life. I know there is always going to be a happy ending.
the wind here is hotter than hell! I go out to the laundry room and the hot wind whips by me and its just ridiculous weather! its sticky and hot and no relief at all. thats how life is living closer to the equater.

why do all good things come to and end?

I'm stopping in the middle of room cleanup. by cleanup I mean bulldoze! what a mess! its really a lovely day, its been in the back of my mind all morning.
I got to talk to my bestest friend the other night and its been awhile for that, it really has. almost a month.
this morning my husband walked off without his phone, and his buddies have been surprised when I answer it.
today is cleaning the upstairs day. the bathroom, our bedroom and the babies room are all pretty awful and the floors need vacuuming. the downstairs isnt great either but I keep cleaning that and not the upstairs so things just get worse and worse on the second floor because I only have energy enough for one floor! I started a cleaning system up here, I put everything out of place on the bed after I made it, then I put it all away from where it sits on the bed. for some reason that encourages me to keep going, I guess its because I can see the clean floor right away. but I really ought to get to the pile on the bed. the music on the laptop, and the laptop itself keep enticing me to sit and type and be intellectual today. I think its the sunshine, and the way it comes in the window just the right way to bathe my whole room. I wish my bed was cleared off so I could lay on my down comforter all white and clean and imagine i'm in the bahama's and pretend I'm one of those poetic looking beauties in music videos.
I miss my husband. I know he's just at work, but he's really fun to be around and he was gone for so many months recently...I miss him now when he walks out the door.
i'm so glad the babies are sleeping right now.....