a few of my favorite things

Raindrops on geraniums, and gardens that grow babies.

mermaiden revelry

It started out so innocent, a watering of the plants. but somehow it ended up with matthew wearing no pants.

my boy was having fun, and so was my daughter, how delighted they both were, when mommy turned on the water!

the water splashed out quickly, creating a drenching mist, I wonder if I've ever seen, a happier face than this?

all this water would be cold, if the weather was not so mild, oh how beautiful life must be, if you are still a child.

If I

if I had words to make a day for you, I'd sing you a morning, golden and new.

my shiz.

hey everybody, add this blog! she is the chillest person ever and I love her and she is pregnant and bored and lonely because her hubby is deployed. some comments might liven up her day if you feel like leaving one! I love you heather!

www.drivemeinsanelovinit.blogspot.com

moonlit journey

I wake in the night, the air is damp. the stone floor is cool on my bare feet, a the breeze moves over the fields outside my window and stirs my nightgown. the moon is bathing the sheaves of wheat, dancing and shimmering before my eyes. there is a strange door in my chamber that I have never seen there. everything is washed in silver, and the handle of the door feels metallic. with trepidition, I open the door.
It's a long dining hall, glowing with golden light from a thousand candles. the table is the longest of rectangles, the horsehair chairs fit for kings. it is set with dinnerware for a feast. the walls are castle stones, hung with with beautiful tapestries; queens with their elegantly dressed children, lions midroar, warriors in their glory.
As if in a spell I move through the room, taking in the gleaming goblets and blazing banners hung from the ceiling. Upon entering the room it seemed completely enclosed, but as I reach the end of the table I see that there is a giant imposing doorway, opening out into more silver moonlight. I look behind me at the far wall, and see that the door through which I came is no more. instead there is a tapestry, brilliantly colored, showing a majestic tree in full flourish, laden with fruit of every kind. there is no way back, I must go forward.
I step through the doors so large they must be gates instead, and find myself on a cool white marble veranda. the railing is intricate, and carved with such detail it brings tears to the appreciative eye. the marble is smooth and although not warm, it has a warming effect even while it feels chilled. spread out before me are stairs, wide, curving stairs, getting smaller and smaller as they descend to the earth.
I follow them down knowing before I look that the gates behind me are closed, perhaps not even there anymore. each step makes me feel as though I am floating down, and when I reach the bottom, the crisp grass touches me with droplets of water that cling to my feet and the hem of my nightgown.
I wander, no destination apparent, through the glade, till I see a violet haze ahead, tinged about the edges in the moonlit silver. as it comes closer, it materializes into a grove of trees...and the sound of tinkling bells is drifting toward me on the wind. there are soft white shapes moving among the trees, and one of them breaks from the haze and comes toward me.
It is a nyad, a woman clad in flowing white, her hair moving like the soft tangle of spanish moss. "come sister!" she speaks to me, and takes my trembling hand in her long, firm fingers. "come dance with us." she leads me on into the grove, where I am greeted by all of the nyads there, and given grapes to eat, and dew to drink. the sound I thought was bells was their laughter, mixed with their tambourines that they shook and twirled as they danced. they took my hands and brought me into their circle, and I danced with them in the filtered moonlight beneath the trees...I danced forever. it lasted for eternity and ended too quickly. the nyad who had drawn me in pointed to a towering oak when the moonlight began to wan, saying "this way sister...you must come now." I followed her to the trunk of the tree, where suddenly there was a door. she opened it, then kissed my forehead and ushered me through the doorway.
As the door closed behind me, I sat up. I sat on my bed of straw, listening to the clicking of a birds beak on wood. outside in the morning sun, the sheaves of wheat were bowing, and the light created patchwork across the stones on the floor. my nightgown was dry, there was no dew still clinging to the hem. I felt a wash of disappointment, a realization that it must not have been real. I stood and walked to the washbasin, splashed my face, and peered into the glass hanging before me. There, twined around my head, was a crown of grape leaves.

many things

kids playing in the faucet outside, going to disneyland, me being sick (again, still) rearranging the house, (past two days... ) but I cant say much more because I'm too tired to be coherent.

hiding in my room, safe within my womb

today I am sick. yesterday I was sick, I feel weird and mopey and headachey...and I feel like a person who only wants to talk in riddles. I feel I've gone a bit mad. its ok though. the darkness knows me.

I keep sneezing. I could use some ill-advised painkillers or really fun dangerous drugs or something. chill out, I said I COULD USE them. hah. the stress has been rough lately, probably why I got so sick and have a hard time getting rid of it. lifes a little hard on me right now, but its ok, I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor...

one bright day in the middle of the night

Yesterday upon a stair, I saw a man who wasnt there.
he wasnt there again today,
oh how I wish he'd go away

beach day

Miss A testing out the feel of suntan lotion on daddy's skin

Chris Skeels, boogy boarding

a sail boat so far out I could hardly see it, but my zoom lens is amazing!

he loved the sand!

she hardly left the blanket. it literally took her like two hours to decide to leave the blanket. she is such a well mannered kid!

saturday!

this is my baby girl wrapped up in somebodies belt,

M-dog chillin out next to kyle who is still sleeping,

this is Terry and Andrea Sielkin! we all went to boomers last night and played laser tag, go karts, mini golf...way fun!

this is kyles family, who are visiting from kansas. left to right, Keaton, Cameron, Kyle, David (the dad) and Chris, the oldest. they are so fun!

and this is A-rose with David, chilling in the rocking chair!

friday

the picture above is of course hubby and little M-dog rolling around like wrestlers on friday, the two pictures below are kyle singing "roxie" from the movie chigaco, lol.

this is my hubby after a long day of work!

this is me. with the morning face I wear day and night.

black coffee kinda morning

heres a picture that takes my breath away. I dont know who painted it. I WISH I had!

"I gave up coffee and cigarettes. I hate to say it hasnt helped me yet.....I must quit, I must quit.....YOU."

-Michelle Featherstone

today is one of those days, messy pigtails, really ugly oversized t-shirt that says "braves". sweatpants. cup of coffee that was too hot to drink ten minutes ago, and now is too cold to taste good.

Its ironic that my intention with writing is to entertain, but the minute I get a pen or a keyboard in my hands I get melancholy. And whats weirder is that its a melancholy I enjoy. A quiet place, maybe sad, but enjoyable anyway.

"do you take the non-believer? cuz I'm a non-believer..." -La Rocca

Hubby's deployment date is extended, I'm so happy about that. we get an extra three weeks or so, which also means less time for me to have to be alone before my bestest girlfriend comes back home with her new baby. I'm so looking forward to that. I havent seen her in months and we call each other every day, but of course its not the same. and I'm dying to see what her baby will look like!

HHMF

this is Todd Johnson, Kyle Skeels, Terry Sielkin, and my hubby. some of the coolest people I know. two are from illinois, one from kansas, and one from the great northwest. we have a good time when they arent working.
I hope and pray that I have more pictures like this, with all of them in it, when the deployment is over. make sure and come home guys, we'll miss you.

one little boy

This is a boy who loves his daddy. he cried his eyes out when his daddy came home after a month in the field, and wouldnt let daddy put him down for several hours. he gives daddy lots of kisses and gets scared everytime daddy leaves. God please protect daddy for little M-dog.

sleeping like a baby

This is my baby girl, on the inside of her bedroom door. she disappeared upstairs, which isnt unusual, she and her brother often go climbing up the stairs to play in their room, but I noticed she had been quiet for awhile. no big deal, the only door left open upstairs is their bedroom which is of course full of toys and babyproof. so I go up there, and the door is closed. also not a big deal because the kids tend to shut themselves in on accident, but they usually dont get upset, they just play with their toys till I go check on them.

I opened the door slowly, thinking maybe she was sitting in front of the door playing with a toy or something...and its a good thing I opened it slowly, because sure enough, the door wouldnt swing open easily. I pushed gently a few times, but couldnt get through, then I noticed her foot. it wasnt there before, so I figured she'd noticed the door was open, and she'd be peering around the door any minute. she didnt, so i pushed just a bit harder and got my head around the corner.

there was my baby. fast asleep in front of the door. ah to be a child.

today in pictures

These are just four of many many pictures I took today, but these were my favorites. its like a picture diary....and it must have flowers.

the weepies

I woke up, and wished that I was dead
theres an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you,
and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

everything that I said I'd do
like make the world brand new
and take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
and the world spins madly on


I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my windowsill
the whole world is moving and I'm standing still

I woke up and wished that I was dead
with an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
the night is here, the day is gone
and the world spins madly on

I thought of you, and where you'd gone
and the world spins madly on


that is a beautiful, heartbreaking song by the weepies...it sums up military life.

there is a tide in the affairs of men...

well I'm finally back. technology is a little rough when you are young, newly married, and short on cash at the time of a technological failure. yep thats me.

my baby girl is just inches from walking, and Daddy is sooo pleased. he loves to watch her let go and stand there for those few moments of strength. I swear his grin could split his face.

my boy is started to sound more and more articulate when he chooses to copy things we say...still a little slow on the speech, but give him a break, he's busy!
cried
hubby got home from a month in the field this last weekend and the poor little boy really fell apart. he clung to his daddy for a few hours and wouldnt let himself be put to bed, for fear daddy was gonna leave again. it was very hard on my hubby. he cried pretty hard.

the next deployment will be on us in just a few weeks, so forgive me if even my cheerfulness is morbid. its going to be very dangerous, there is a very good chance most of the platoon wont come home. pray my hubby comes back to us. we need him. I cant really say much more about it. Im trying to be cheerful but even stating the facts is really...i just cant. just pray he comes home.

I'll be putting up more pictures when the camera battery is done charging.