slow coffee

coffee takes too long to brew when you feel like death. most days are like this...which is why I quit blogging for so long. theres nothing to say except I'm sick of being alone. theres cleaning to do. errands to run. bills to pay. kids to take care of. and its all my responsiblity. I'm tired. I want to lay down and sleep forever. a really good word lately is Listless. I relate.
theres a scene in a movie called "serenity". a group of scientists puts people on a planet, then pumps a chemical into the air to weed out aggression. it works to frightening proportions. the people stop eating, stop going to work, stop breeding, stop fighting, stop caring. they all just lay down and let themselves die. sometimes that whole idea just sounds beautiful to me. just lay down and quit. it would be lovely.
I cant sleep at night, and then I cant wake up in the morning. which is when my kids want to be up and eating and playing and getting attention. thats what you call Ironic....