I'm watching my little man play with his little driver toy. its got a steering wheel, a key in its ignition, it plays music and has little buttons and gadgets. he looks so chubby all hunched over it, playing with the shifter. it makes a squealing noise like your slamming on your brakes. baby girl is on her tummy watching him, right at his feet. in fact she just reached out and grabbed his toes. she grins at him alot....for some reason he really amuses her. he hasnt been giving me kisses lately, he's been too busy playing. he's in hypergrowth mode I think because it just feels like he's all over the place.
baby girl is teething I think because I try to nurse her and she cries and cries and bites her fingers. she's happier now that I gave her some tylenol.
I complain alot about my husband and about my life. I feel terrible about that. I also wish he would grow up sometimes...but I feel like a piece of crap when I see him trying sooo hard. he wants to be mature and he wants me to think he's a good husband and a good father. he really is. he's human and he acts 20 alot. but I'm 20 too, and if I stood outside of myself I might see more immaturity than I thought I had. that scares me a little. how embarrassing it would be if he shone that spotlight on me the way I tend to do on him. he's a good guy and I really respect him and I'm happier with my life than I feel on the surface. day to day i feel sluggish and cranky and I bitch and moan. its my own fault.....I dont exercise enough and I dont pay more attention to what I eat or how down i let myself get.
just another thing on my "to work on" list.
the girl behind the ink
- CaroltheRose
- I am a country girl in the middle of cities...with my heart somewhere out where there are trees. I am a musician, an artist, a gardner, a decorator, but most of all a wife and a mother to two beautiful, exhausting blessings. my hubby is a United States Marine, whom I am so proud of, and I love very much. we live on base at Camp Pendleton California, and I am priviledged with the friendship of a few wonderful Marine wives, and ALOT of good hearted young men who protect the country we call home.
2 comments:
Our husbands are precious and not unlike our children they need nurturing. Unlike our children they don't need babying or parenting (from us, their wives). The nurturing they need is the hardest, and it may not come the easiest for us. It can't be phony, put on, manipulative, or staged. It needs to be genuine trust and belief in them, who they are.
One of the things I noticed early on in my marriage was that I was starting to sound like my mom. Never thought I would be like that, but I had a tendency to pull the "I'm better educated, better raised" thing with Phil that I had always heard my mom say of my father. It was all kinda weird cause I knew she loved and respected him, she recognized that their friends, teachers, doctors, highly educated people, really liked him and respected him too. But when push came to shove she always threw crap like that in his face. I always told myself I would never do that to someone I love, because even though my dad didn't seem to let it bother him it bothered me for him. And I wondered if that wasn't maybe why he strayed in their relationship.
So sufice it to say that I was a little surprised by my ability to channel her in my poor momments. You and Mike are forever married, he is the father of the children you desperately love, he is half of their gene pool. It is so important for your very own benefit and the benefit of your children (the whole honor and obey parents so that the child in question will have a good life on earth commandment thing, a child finds it hard to honor and obey both parents when one is tearing the other down). If we wives want our husbands to be Ephesians 5 kind of guy, we have to be willing to be washed by them. We can't be washed by them if we keep telling them they are not mature enough, or smart enough or spiritually groovy enough.
That you recognize all this is huge, most women don't get it, some don't ever get it. Society plays a big part in us not getting it. In the things we think are jsut way too funny and put in our jokes, tv,movies, etc. Not unlike the stupid "wives are a ball and chain" jokes that everyone seems that they have to laugh at, there are an equal amount of "husbands are idiots and only good for donating sperm" jokes too. And jokes that just in general slam the idea of marriage (and having children). I'm not oppose to jokes but I think we need to be careful of the crap we wash our minds in daily. It is hard to break habits, it is even harder to break habits of thought.
Well heck I have written way to much for just a comment. A deadly combination, I love to talk and you are good and easy to talk with. In person and in the blogesphere.
hbn dfs
Purr Bob's contribution.
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